Honesty

• I want to be pregnant for nine months - not 12 weeks or 25 weeks. (Using math and patterns - third pregnancy should make it)
  
• I want to go to the hospital pregnant and leave with a healthy baby in my arms.
• I want to hold my baby without worrying about cords. I want to be able to walk anywhere in my house holding my baby without so much effort.
• I want to go out in public and show my cute baby off. I want to go to the grocery store, the mall, or visit people.... I want to go hang out with the other mommies and their kids in my neighborhood.
  
• I want to quit making so many phone calls to keep up on insurance issues and other things I keep needing to take care of.
• I want to nurse my baby. I want her to be physically able to, and I want my body to produce enough milk for her.

HOWEVER

• I love that I got to meet my baby early - instead of waiting nine months.
• Things could have been and could be so much more difficult than they are. We are very blessed to have Abigail doing so well.
• I feel blessed to live so close to a hospital that could adequately care for Abigail.
• I am so grateful for miracles.
• I am so grateful that many miracles are accomplished through us as humans. Modern medicine and technology is full of miracles.
• I am grateful to so many doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff who did a wonderful job caring for Abigail.
• I am grateful for the Gospel and for my testimony.
• This has been a great trial at times, and I would not trade it for anything -- but I hope to never do it again, either.... I have experienced things I could not have experienced otherwise. I have gained a greater appreciation for life. My testimony has been strengthened in so many ways. I have experienced many tender mercies from the Lord (love that talk by Elder Bednar).
• I am grateful for the gifts of the spirit. I was blessed with feelings of peace as my life was turning upside down. I guess you could call it my peace bubble.
  
• I have been entrusted with a precious little girl. She could have easily been taken from this life after arriving so early (and still could - but every life is fragile), but the Lord allowed her to stay with us in this life.
  
• I have an amazing husband, and I love him more because of all of this.
• I am surrounded by so many wonderful people. John and I have definitely not been through this alone.
• I am so grateful for Abigail. I just pray I can be the mother that she needs to help her fulfill whatever mission she was sent here to do.

I could keep going.... It is amazing the diversity of emotions. It is amazing how I can get discouraged about some things, but then can be lifted up when I think about all that I have to be grateful for.

Latest Doctor Appointment

We went to a second pulmonologist appointment this afternoon. Abigail will still be on oxygen for at least another month, but she was lowered down a setting again. We are still restricted to indoors, but she said in a couple of weeks we could go outside for about 15 minutes on a really calm day. We also can start using her monitor only when she is sleeping. She is still having some little apnea and heart episodes, but they are brief. With when they are occurring, the doctor thinks they could be related to eating and reflux. She recommends that we maybe thicken her food a little more. (I am also needing to get in touch with the speech lady from the hospital to follow up with her eating.)

All in all she is still doing a terrific job!!

Here is a picture of a position she went to when I set her down while sleeping.

Road Trip!

I was a little nervous, but we took Abigail on her first road trip - and, hopefully, we won't regret that choice! She did GREAT!! and mommy and daddy enjoyed a new adventure out of the hosue.... My sister was playing Gertrude McFuzz in EAC's production of "Seussical the Musical". She did a fabulous job! I know that I am biased as her big sister, but people we knew at the performance were commenting on her good job - as well as watching her receive compliments. There were also some people seeking autographs from performers.... If my sister makes it to Broadway, I won't be surprised. Her voice has just blossomed, and she is such a natural on stage.... I have just got some really great sisters. The other two are enjoying fun adventures at Disney World. Wendi is helping with Music Festivals and Tiffany is taking pictures of park guests (you know those PhotoPass people you see around the parks)

The trip to Thatcher is nearly 2 1/2 hours. Abigail slept most of the way. We picked up Marilee and went to R&R Pizza for dinner. I took lots of chances on this trip, but Thatcher is a small town, and it seemed like I could keep her away from people - which is what the Pediatrician said we needed to do. It is a farming community - so I am worried about the effects of all the dust on her lungs, but I tried to keep her protected.... Between dinner and the show we went to see of friend of mine that lives in Safford. On my few trips there to see my sister, I have only actually been to her house once before. The last time I was in Thatcher, she actually met me at the Arby's - so I wanted to be sure and get a good visit in and see her and her house.

Abigail pretty much stayed wide awake during the whole show. I only had to get up once to stand in the back for a few minutes. Her big, beautiful eyes were just trying to take it all in. If you know Dr. Seuss things well, it will come as no surprise that the show was full of lots of bright colors in the set, lights, and costumes. We only had a couple strangers trying to take a peek. I have decided that when people ask her age that I will just say she is a couple of months ld. Saying she is four (almost five) months makes people wonder what is up, and I almost feel like I am lying when I say she is just over a month old.... Anyway!! It was fun to show her off to a couple old friends.



Working on making sure we have everything we need for the trip



Proud Aunt Marilee





Remembering fun times at EAC.... Wow! beginning almost 10 years ago.



We just hung out in the back of the Yukon with all of our stuff.... We went with my parents and my grandma.



Measuring up at 20 weeks.... We are starting to pull out the next size of clothes.... This week I went with my friend to Carter's out in Chandler. Between their sales and her coupons - lots of good deals. However, I realized how crazy it is and that I never thought I would be choosing outfits based on how easy it is to get them on/off with oxygen (for outfits coming up soon).


I love taking pictures of this cutie!! John got a cute one of her smiling on his phone, but I can't seem to do it with the camera yet.

We are off to the pulmonologist on Monday to see how her lungs are doing....

I Did It!!

Most of you reading will probably laugh, but I was able to leave Abigail with a babysitter (AKA-Grandma Merrill) for the first time tonight.... Something about leaving my daughter for fourteen weeks has made it hard to leave her with anyone.

We did not do anything really exciting, but I am working on baby steps.... We went to Costco and then to Paradise Bakery for cookies and hot chocolate.... The grandmas have been very ready and willing, but I just have not been ready yet. I felt a little emotional as we got into the car, but it really went better than I expected.... Thanks to my patient husband who has offered many times already to take me out, and to Abigail's wonderful grandparents who have offered to watch her. And - thanks to friends who are good at getting me to do things that I need extra encouragement with....

Four Month Check-Up!

Tuesday we went to Abigail's four month check-up. The doctor said that she looks good and is doing some good catch-up growth. She is still a small four month old, but when her measurements are plotted on the graph, they are rising fast. She currently weighs 9lbs 8oz and is 21 3/4 inches long. Way to go little girl!

She is starting to do some smiling and being more awake and alert. John and I love it!! She is sleeping well at night - almost always in her bed (and I can give her the middle of the night feeding mostly in her sleep), and she is taking a good middle of the day nap - with other short naps in between. So she is basically developing a nice little schedule.

My friend also took pictures of her this weekend. Stay tuned for what should be some great pictures... I am excited!!

Happy 19 Weeks! - Looks like this outfit is on its final wearing for Abigail... darn! I really like it!! I swear it fit so well just last week, but now it is too short on her. I am so excited to watch her get bigger, but sad at the same time.... I am trying to just love her being a baby!

Isn't she such a cute sleeper?

Twin Cousins... Well, Sort of

My cousin and I were born two weeks apart, and we have spent much of our lives doing things together - including being dressed in matching outfits by our families.... Well, in keeping with our life-long tradition (even when we didn't try to do things together), we managed to get pregnant at the same time (unknowingly) and ended up with the same due date and baby girls.

Obviously, Little Miss Abigail jumped the gun and is a little bit older than Miss Brisa, but you wouldn't know by their size.... So, my cousin found these adorable dresses for us to take pictures of the girls with.... We are already having fun with our girls together!!


This is how the afternoon started...




Getting closer... no worries - Abigail had her crying moments, but I was calming her instead of snapping pictures.... We would just begin to snap a picture when one of them would express their unhappiness.

The beauty of pacifiers

A few of Abigail by herself...




This is the best one we got - and it is blurry... darn!

18 Weeks and Counting...

Hello everyone!! We don't have much to report from our neck of the woods. Today marks one month for Abigail being at home. It's crazy to think that it has already been one month. Miss Abigail just keeps getting bigger and bigger. On Thursday she weighed 8lbs 13oz. Wow!! She has pretty much gained seven pounds since birth.

We have done a little venturing out this week, but I am still reluctant to do so. Plus, it seems that she has a rough time when she is super tired and/or over-stimulated. So, I need to be careful with that, too.

I just keep counting my blessings.... Sometimes it is hard being limited in what we can do so that we protect Abigail. I have gotten a little stir-crazy at times, but my sweet husband is doing a great job helping to keep me sane. Sometimes we just go for drives -- and Abigail seems to really like them.... I am just so grateful to have her in our family and here with us today. She is such a special little girl. I just keep loving her more and more.


Bath Time for Baby


We haven't blessed her yet, but I was trying on the dress I want to use when we do. It is the one my mom made for me to wear. Here are a couple of pictures of me back then. The face Abigail is making as she models the dress doesn't really show how much she looks like me when she makes certain faces. It is still crazy to me when I see myself (from my baby pictures) in her faces.

FOUR MONTHS OLD!

It is hard to believe that it has already been four months!! Abigail gets cuter and cuter! She is eating better, and seems to be gaining weight. Sometimes it seems like she wakes up bigger after a long nap.... We sure love our little princess!

17 Weeks Old

Happy 17 Weeks little miracle baby.... You will notice that the first three pictures are missing something.... oxygen. She got a break for a few minutes as we changed out the tape and cleaned the tubing.

Look at that cute face - She is getting such cute chubby cheeks.... It is also a little crazy to see how she looks compared to my baby pictures. I will have to find a good one to post that shows the comparison. It is crazy how at one point she looks very much like my side, but then she makes a different face and looks like John's side.


This dress was a gift from a while back. I have pretty much been waiting since then to put her in it. I think it is oh so cute!!


Abigail was making a cute face, but I could never manage to really capture it with the camera....

Eight Pound Baby

It's been a little while since I posted, but Abby and I have just been at home enjoying each other.... I am starting to get a little more sleep, but coordinating pumping and feeding makes it a little difficult. Abby continues to eat more and more. We just love having her home.... An In Home Care Nurse came for a follow up appointment today at our home. She was seeing how Abigail was doing and gave us some great tips on things to be doing to help her developmentally.

We went to her pulmonologist(sp?) yesterday. The doctor joins the club of all of us who are so very impressed by Abigail's progress. She said that she looked good and sounded great!! Abigail still needs to have oxygen, but we will start to lower her flow setting in a couple of weeks. She still has mild BPD (don't know how to spell all of the words, but it is basically mild chronic lung disease), but should still be able to out grow it with age -- standard preemie stuff.... On the way to the appointment we stopped at the pediatrician for her two week weigh in: 8lbs 4oz. Way to go Abby!!


Fifteen Weeks

Sixteen Weeks - She is getting so long.

A great place to hang out...

Hanging out with Daddy!!
*You can see in the last two pictures that a tornado has hit our house as we try to get situated with having Abigail home. We continue to work on getting it under control-because it is not how John and I like things.*

Ready to go on our first walk - We were told by one doctor that walks were okay, but the pulmonologist said not to... it was fun while it lasted.