Monday, March 30, 2009

Honesty

  • I want to be pregnant for nine months - not 12 weeks or 25 weeks. (Using math and patterns - third pregnancy should make it)
  • I want to go to the hospital pregnant and leave with a healthy baby in my arms.
  • I want to hold my baby without worrying about cords. I want to be able to walk anywhere in my house holding my baby without so much effort.
  • I want to go out in public and show my cute baby off. I want to go to the grocery store, the mall, or visit people.... I want to go hang out with the other mommies and their kids in my neighborhood.
  • I want to quit making so many phone calls to keep up on insurance issues and other things I keep needing to take care of.
  • I want to nurse my baby. I want her to be physically able to, and I want my body to produce enough milk for her.
HOWEVER
  • I love that I got to meet my baby early - instead of waiting nine months.
  • Things could have been and could be so much more difficult than they are. We are very blessed to have Abigail doing so well.
  • I feel blessed to live so close to a hospital that could adequately care for Abigail.
  • I am so grateful for miracles.
  • I am so grateful that many miracles are accomplished through us as humans. Modern medicine and technology is full of miracles.
  • I am grateful to so many doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff who did a wonderful job caring for Abigail.
  • I am grateful for the Gospel and for my testimony.
  • This has been a great trial at times, and I would not trade it for anything -- but I hope to never do it again, either.... I have experienced things I could not have experienced otherwise. I have gained a greater appreciation for life. My testimony has been strengthened in so many ways. I have experienced many tender mercies from the Lord (love that talk by Elder Bednar).
  • I am grateful for the gifts of the spirit. I was blessed with feelings of peace as my life was turning upside down. I guess you could call it my peace bubble.
  • I have been entrusted with a precious little girl. She could have easily been taken from this life after arriving so early (and still could - but every life is fragile), but the Lord allowed her to stay with us in this life.
  • I have an amazing husband, and I love him more because of all of this.
  • I am surrounded by so many wonderful people. John and I have definitely not been through this alone.
  • I am so grateful for Abigail. I just pray I can be the mother that she needs to help her fulfill whatever mission she was sent here to do.
I could keep going.... It is amazing the diversity of emotions. It is amazing how I can get discouraged about some things, but then can be lifted up when I think about all that I have to be grateful for.

4 comments:

Brent and Terina Maldonado said...

Thank you for your honesty!!!

Stephen and Erin said...

Oh Kim, I pray for you! I hope you get all the things you wish for but Im glad you have such a positive out look on life! Thank you for sharing!

The Pages said...

I hear ya! I KNOW what you mean!!!!!! I have to head back to the hospital so this will be quick....they changes ryders formula...and I have like 14 new cans of neosure....thats what 15$ a can??!!! I'm going to make sure I dont have to return them to insurance....so If I dont you can have the butt-load of neosure. i'll let you know. they are still in plastic in the boxes.

The Pages said...

oh sorry i'll GIVE them to you...FREE!!! that'll save you $250.00!! Ryder's ins pays for his food.